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Dear “I’m falling in love with an atheist,” I am so glad you wrote. A Christian has the spirit of Christ living inside of them!

Please don’t read this letter with a harsh, condemning tone, but with an urgent, pleading one. If this letter feels like I’m dumping a bucket of cold water on your head, it’s because I want you to wake up. A Christian is someone whose entire identity has been refashioned around Christ. Christ is the reason they are now accepted and beloved by God the Father. It won’t happen—they’ll each want to do their own thing), Paul peppered them with the following questions: One way we can apply this to our lives today is that we should not marry (and therefore we should not date or long to date) someone who is not wholeheartedly pursuing and delighting in God.

The man she’s falling for just happens to be her dance partner, causing her to interact with him several times a week.

Knowing that she’s not the only girl who has fallen for someone who doesn’t share her faith, she graciously agreed to let me share my response with you. A Christian has been rescued by Jesus out of the darkness of sin and has been brought into His marvelous light—transformed from the inside out.

When we got sober, my husband tried to find a spirituality that he could accept, but today he's quite happily a staunch agnostic or, as he calls himself, "aspiritual." Throughout our twenty-two year relationship, he's viewed most of my spiritual explorations kindly, supporting me as much as he could. He could care less about church and I could care less about trains, but we're partners so we indulge each other without complaint.

But when I returned to my childhood church, he struggled -- just like I struggled when he gave up all attempts at spirituality around the same time. Ultimately, being married to an atheist as a believer is just like being married to someone that loves football when you can't stand the sport; you tolerate the differences because that is what couples do.

Does that mean that you have the freedom to date this man? Besides, why would you want to, when Christ has revealed Himself to you as the greatest treasure there is—both in this life and for the life to come?

I get it that you have strong feelings toward this man. And if you’re anything like me, my guess is that what you’re feeling isn’t true love, but something closer to romantic desire .

When I asked respondents to my survey to describe any specific benefits or positive results from their secular/religious difference, .

Then some bad things happened in my life -- infertility and third trimester pregnancy loss -- and God and I broke up for a while. My job is not to convert him to a believer and his job is to leave my beliefs alone and not mock me for having them (the not mocking part is important). We are both "good, giving, and game." Yes, that term was created by Dan Savage and is meant to tackle sexual turn-ons in relationships (if your partner is into something you're not, you should still try to be good, giving, and game even if you don't want to do that particular act every time), but it also works well with most relationship challenges.

But in my grief I found myself drifting into another liberal Methodist Church, and I found solace there for many years. He grew up without much religious exposure, although his father was a "spiritual seeker," dabbling in everything before returning to the Catholic Church. My husband and his aspirituality cheerfully join me each Christmas Eve at a candlelight service and I drive the car when he wants to photograph freight trains.

Most atheists have left the dogmatic thinking of resolved divine answers without questions, to question everything.

Including why they believe anything and everything that they do.