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Yet I’ve applied only a fraction of the discipline to my dating life that I apply to physical training. After the get-to-know-you’s, the question I often pose on dating apps is: What do you hope to get out of this? Don’t run yourself into a wall by becoming single-minded about your goal and losing the big picture. If you want to get married eventually, look to married couples who went through a process similar to yours. But dating is probably harder because it takes even more endurance.