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Pattern of dating emotionally unavailable men

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So the solution then, is simple: stop dating unavailable men. Perhaps you’ve heard the theory tossed around that if you’re attracted to unavailable people, that’s a sign that you’re unavailable, too. Whether you like it or not, the people you’re attracted to can give you insight into where you really are (as opposed to where you to be) on the emotional availability continuum.There’s no way around it—the only way to stop being attracted to unavailable men is to work on becoming more available yourself.This means the roots of their emotional unavailability run deep into their childhood.Attachment describes the bond that develops between a child and a primary caregiver (birth parent or other caregiver) in the first few years of life.You may have a history of dating people who fear commitment and intimacy, lack emotional sensitivity, cheat, or seem emotionally withdrawn.There are usually a few reasons why this becomes a pattern for people.

You investing in the relationship but they are not.The science of human attachment may be the best explanation for this pattern.Many people who fear commitment and who struggle with intimacy and emotional connection are people with what’s called an avoidant attachment style.This leads many women to be the pursuer in relationships with men and to chase love, over-function and over-give to a guy, because they always have to earn that absent love their inner little girl was chasing….. In a dysfunctional way of protecting themselves, only then do these women feel in love and feel intense desire or attraction.It often looks like an emotionally unavailable man.And the only way to start becoming more available is to recognize if you’re not.